Accidentally showing my arsehole and lady bits to the nurses.

As bad luck would have it, the moment I started working in a hospital I was suddenly required to attend another for various cringe-inducing (but not life-threatening) procedures. My sympathy with the hysterical patients I occasionally encounter at work has gone through the roof since my unfortunate run-in with the Clementine Churchill Hospital. I won’t go into … Continue reading


How not to chat up strangers.

I’ve always admired the bollocks it takes for guys to go up to girls they don’t know and strike up a conversation. The (outdated) social expectation that it’s a man’s job to make the ‘first move’ must be nerve-wracking. Especially when there’s no drink involved; I’m not a shy person but I need at least … Continue reading


In over my head – changing careers.

Relatively recently I had a minor existential crisis. I’d gone to Loughborough to study illustration – good idea if you want to be an artist, supposedly – where University ate me up and spat me out into what was arguably one of the worst times to get a job, any job. I was getting precisely … Continue reading



Nine days ago, in an fit of optimism during my existential crisis I figured some tasty endorphins would probably help. I’d heard really great things about American fitness trainer Shaun T’s programme- Insanity. Insanity’s advertising emphasises “max interval training”, a method of exercising during which one works out strenuously for 3–4 minutes and then rests for approximately … Continue reading


Worst chat up line in history.

Loughborough university had a ridiculously unbalanced ratio of men to women, roughly 5:1. This was great for sausage watching, obviously. Especially as Loughborough was jam-packed with sportsmen who had honed to perfection every muscle in their bodies except the ones used for thinking with. Consequently, men who looked great but had no chat whatosever were depressingly … Continue reading


Primate 69 on the Rock of Gibraltar.

<Apologies in advance for being an insufferably smug holiday wanker> Today, I’m lucky enough to be drawing and blogging from sunny Spain! I’m visiting my friend, Lauren, who  moved out here a few weeks ago for an epic animation job. I’ve brought my laptop and drawing tablet with me to  get on with some work … Continue reading


Drunk as a skunk in a club.

I like the occasional drink, to put it mildly. My habit has rewarded me with a liver that has the strength of ten men, and the look and feel of a slug when you’ve poured salt over it (I imagine).  I justify this naughty habit because I don’t smoke or experiment with any drugs, and I … Continue reading


Seen the green- Ireland.

Things I liked about Dublin: The singing culture. When there wasn’t organised live music in bars, people would appear with xylophones and banjos and start banging out a folksy tune. People would just know all the words and randomly join in for a jolly old sing-a-long. This doesn’t happen in London. Unless England have just won a … Continue reading


Advice I’d give my 18 year old student self.

Every year when all the young people go off to get their A level results I experience a twang of jealousy. Not because of the actual results, obviously, that shit was horrible, but usually if A levels are important to you it’s because you’re planning to go to university and your grades determined where you were … Continue reading


Sexy battle with weight.

Do you want to live the rest of your life in the frustrating cycle of losing and gaining weight? Follow these simple steps to get the yo-yo figure of your dreams! Weigh yourself. Give yourself a stern talking to. Exercise. If you’re experiencing discomfort like you’ve never known before whilst sweating yourself to terminal dehydration … Continue reading


Poorly judged naked dash.

I admit that I’m prone to risking the odd naked dash. My room is roughly four steps (or seven girly trots) from the bathroom and when my towel is busy wrapped up on my head I often can’t be bothered to get another one to cover my dignity. What’s four steps, after all?  Turns out … Continue reading


I didn’t study art for four years to pick up dog shit.

No one likes to work for free, that is a given, and many (smart) people refuse to do it. Annoyingly though, for a lot of graduate jobs there’s this catch-22 situation: you can’t get a job without experience, but you can’t get experience without a job. Some proper arsehole came up with this in order … Continue reading


(Almost) murder on the National Express.

A few weeks ago I went to Liverpool to visit my friend, Anna. Anyone who knows me well knows I don’t travel well, but curiously I travel better on coaches than trains. This is helpful, considering they’re  a tonne cheaper (because of how shit they are). Sadly, the coach from London Victoria to Liverpool Central … Continue reading


Cunnilingus threats on the M1.

I have to admit that this particular incident didn’t go down in the last seven days,  but I’ve actually had quite a pleasant week. My good friend Lauren Scott was kind enough to drive me the 100 miles back to Loughborough University in exchange for a weekend at mine and hopefully banging student night out. … Continue reading


Spinning the wicked wheel of distraction.

So, we’ve all had this feeling, right? Especially on a Monday. Completely distracted thinking about all the important things in your life outside work. I had it when I had a set-hours job and I have it now I’m freelance. Personally, I find it worse because there’s no one to answer to if I don’t use … Continue reading


A bee stung me. On my arse.

Yesterday, a bee stung me, on my arse. More accurately, I sat on a bee and it stung me. Of all the grass in the 395 acres of Regents Park, after 25 minutes of finding just the right spot in the shade for an afternoon unwind, I sit down on a fucking bumble bee. Naturally … Continue reading


Weird guys I attract. Case in point: Duck Man.

It’s a running joke amongst my group of friends that 99% of the men who ever chat to me are complete Grade A nutjobs. There was the time when a bloke who I’d only met once got my number off a friend and sent me a late night text reading “come to mine. I’m fit, … Continue reading


Accidentally exposing myself on London Bridge.

Last week one of the most embarrassing things happened to me. I was crossing London Bridge, in rush hour, to meet some friends from work. Essentially, as I was crossing the bridge some colossal river wind blew my dress up. But not just like a cheeky Monroe moment, it flew right up from all sides … Continue reading

Redecorating featured post

Gib’s redecorating disaster.

I foolishly volunteered to help my ex-univeristy housemate Gib move into her new flat with Knight (James) and Ellis (James). The previous owner had been allowed to run amok with sickly orange and baby blue paint, so understandably they decided to start afresh and repaint everything white. Ellis,  the son of a capenter, and Knight, a DIY afficionado, were … Continue reading


False Nails

As someone who’s never had them I’ve always been somewhat torn when it comes to false nails. Some of my friends have had some really cracking ones – the simple french manicure kind with the squared off ends. They make my DIY, already chipped white tips, look positively amateur, and fair enough. Sometimes even the … Continue reading

Mum's picture

Mother’s Day

For Mother’s Day I drew this.


Train Snogging

Overall, I like to consider myself not too highly- strung when it comes to the behaviours of other people, particularly when it has no impact on my life whatsoever. Sure, I don’t like it when people wear their jeans below their arses or put eye lashes on their cars, but hey, each to their own … Continue reading


In Bed, Watching the Marathon

Surely, the best part of running a marathon isn’t the months of 5am training in the pissing rain or the final four and a half hours of shin-splintering hell, but telling everyone that you’ve run a marathon. Call me narrow-minded, but I genuinely do not believe people who say they like running for hours and hours on … Continue reading


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