Sexy battle with weight.
Do you want to live the rest of your life in the frustrating cycle of losing and gaining weight?
Follow these simple steps to get the yo-yo figure of your dreams!
- Weigh yourself. Give yourself a stern talking to.
- Exercise. If you’re experiencing discomfort like you’ve never known before whilst sweating yourself to terminal dehydration then you’re doing it right. Endure the 90 minutes of high intensity exercise for the 5 second orgasmic endorphin rush.
- Food. Green= good. Beige= bad.
- Weight loss, hurrah!
- Throw out all the clothes that are 1/4 inch “too big” for you, in a fit of eternal optimism.
- Get on Facebook and indulge in a bit of humble bragging. Tag yourself at the gym and upload a pouty selfie, that sort of thing. Remember- if you don’t inform everyone you’ve ever met that you’ve done a work out then it DOESN’T COUNT.
- Treat yourself to a pizza, you’ve earned it!
- Maybe another one.
- And another.
- Calories in wine?! Nonsense! It’s GOOD FOR YOU.
Rinse and repeat forever.