False Nails

As someone who’s never had them I’ve always been somewhat torn when it comes to false nails. Some of my friends have had some really cracking ones – the simple french manicure kind with the squared off ends. They make my DIY, already chipped white tips, look positively amateur, and fair enough. Sometimes even the delicately elaborate ones can look classy (emphasis on the word delicately.)

But, and I cannot fathom why everyone doesn’t think this, they only look nice when they’re a normal, natural length. For the love of God WHY do some women insist on inch long talons? Especially when they’re made somehow worse by being smothered in tiny sunset illustrations or big cat prints or flags.

I can’t help but watch on with smug pity, as women absolutely fail at texting on their tiny phones with huge claws, or fumble around in their handbags trying to retrieve oyster cards and what not, utterly disabled by their own vanity.


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