One day my mum went out for the afternoon. The freedom went straight to my dad’s head and he decided on a whim to rip out the kitchen, causing widespread domestic disruption in the Juniper household. My dad is a cheerful, messy odd-jobbing type, but usually gets there in the end. Unfortunately on this project he was assisted by my brother, a pathetic wretch who cannot even operate a ladder, and me, who despite a degree in art cannot paint a wall for shit.
NB: The anyone who doesn’t know my family personally may be confused by the random dinosaurs, but it’s really very straightforward. We don’t have pets because they’re too much effort, instead we have stuffed animals (with elaborate made up personalities) that we leave around the house with notes. Not even joking.